Eclipse barfs when I enter the URL specified in the installation guide (https://dl-ssl.google.com/android/eclipse/) and Chrome gives me a 404 when I try to access it directly. I tried standard http as well. Still no such luck.

Download the zip file instead. When click add site in Eclipse, choose archive and browse to the zip file. It should work fine.

Or use the same url, except, instead of https:// use http://